Eye Of Heaven

Why?

2010-10-23T14:54:00.002+08:00

I don't understand the reason we have to compete. I really don't understand.

I feel like the meaning of medicine is lost with all the comepetitiveness.

I am slowly losing i's feeling.

Please help me understand.

2010-08-13T00:16:00.000+08:00

I just want to pass. Pls HELP me.

HANG ON

2010-06-27T02:35:00.002+08:00

No matter how hard/how harsh things are on you....Just hang on to GOD's promises...
He WILL PROVIDE!!!!!

Just reminded about the goodness and the promises He has for us :)

Hmmm...

2010-05-26T23:55:00.001+08:00

omg, i feel so much like the girl in this show....
i hope someday i would be able to come out of this...

Revelation / Insanity?

2010-04-13T02:08:00.004+08:00

Here I am again in the middle of the hiatus of Semester 9. I m definitely the perfect example who only loos to God during times of trials and challenges :( I tend to be so comfortable and take God for granted during "peaceful" days, when in fact I should thank God even more for blessing me with "peaceful" days.

THe gynaecology SAQ results were definitely a big wake up call for me and a timely one too. I have been relying too much on myself since the beginning of Sem 9. I thought if I would just work my ass off in Gynaecology posting, I would be rewarded with good results. So much so, forgot to leave things to God. I relied a lot on myself and take pride in my hard work and participation. I was quick to judge ou others and was being a tiny little overconfident. I thought I knew gynaecology in and out, but unfortunately these has been blinding me in fact. When the results dawn upon me, then only I did gave a tight slap onto myself and told myself "Hey Sue Wen, what were you thinking/doing? Wake up you idiot! Stop being too comfortable in your comfort zone...and step out!"

I held my tears back with so much effort as I did not want to show it to my fellow colleagues. I broke down when I told a few of my closer friends. Back at home, I just ran straight into my room and played this song :

"What A Friend We Have in Jesus"

What A Friend we have in Jesus,
All our sins and grieves to bear,
What a privelege to carry,
Everything to God in prayer.

O what peace we often forfeit?
O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carr,
Everything to God in prayer.

Have we trials and temptations,
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged.
Take it to the Lord in prayer.

Can we find a dirend so faithful?
Who will our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness,
Take it to the Lord in prayer.

Tears just kept rolling from my eyes, wetting whatever my eye has contact with as I realized how silly I was for not bringing my troubles to God. God has been working in my life through prayers after prayers. How silly of me!I realy felt battered by the whole gynaecology posting :( And the feeling of being the only one failing is really, really sour. My heart aches whenever I think of it :( But I know that God wants me to learn something from this :(

On a lighter note, I am thrilled and looking forward to this Sunday as I am being baptised at last! My baptism interview went on quite well.

Somehow, the issue of my father is brought up again. Pastor Mike asked me if I had any history I want to tell and I told him that the only setback in my life currently would be not being able to reconcile with my father after so many years. Whenever I think of my mother having to suffer and take up the burden of supporting my family, I will become emotional and teary because I know she had sacrificed so much for us.The only reason I am in medicine is because of her and I would never be able to take up this profession if it was not for her toil and sweat. It aches my heart so badly because my father did not take up any responsibility whatsoever as a husband and as a father.

I did not know that this incident has such an impact on me. I thought that my father wouldn't really have any effect/impact on my life as he was not even a piece of puzzle of my life. He was not there when important things happen to me, basically he was not in any part of my life :( I told Pastor Mike that if I would ever see him on the streets, I really do not know what I would do :(

Later on, Pastor Mike challenged me to leave an open-ended sms to my father, informing him that I would be baptised this Sunday.Pastor Mike suggested that this would give him an opportunity to be part of my life. Will I have pluck enough courage to do so?

Soon after that, prior to the sermon, my tears kept pouring in buckets during worship. I did not understood why. Pastor was praying in front while my tears just kept pouring and puring like a leaking tap :( Only the next day did I understand that I cried because God loves me so much and I am finally crying praise for at last I am filled with Fatherly love which I never had experienced before. The ending to such draught.

I think I am insane as I write this but God has told me to do this, to go ahead and drop this message :

" I sincerely hope that my earthly and my heavenly Father would be there on the day of my baptism. Which means YOU, Mr L, I want you to be part of my life. "

This is insane. And believe it or not, I am going to drop YOU a sms.

Let's see what becomes out of this.

:(

2010-04-09T23:29:00.000+08:00

Hurt once more :(

Happy Easter Everyone!

2010-04-04T13:18:00.000+08:00

Dear Lord, I thank you for this day. I thank You for my being able to see and to hear this morning. I'm blessed because You are a forgiving God and an understanding God. You have done so much for me and You keep on blessing me. Forgive me this day for everything I have done, said or thought that was not pleasing to you. I ask now for Your forgiveness.

Please keep me safe from all danger and harm. Help me to start this day with a new attitude and plenty of gratitude. Let me make the best of each day to clear my mind so that I can hear from You.

Let me not whine and whimper over things I have no control over. Let me continue to see sin through God's eyes and acknowledge it as evil. And when I sin, let me repent, and confess with my mouth my wrongdoing, and receive the forgiveness of God.

And when this world closes in on me, let me remember Jesus' example -- to slip away and find a quiet place to pray. It's the best response when I'm pushed beyond my limits. I know that when I can't pray, You listen to my heart. Continue to use me to do Your will.

Continue to bless me that I may be a blessing to others. Keep me strong that I may help the weak.. Keep me uplifted that I may have words of encouragement for others. I pray for those who are lost and can't find their way. I pray for those who are misjudged and misunderstood. I pray for those who don't know You intimately. I pray for those who will delete this without sharing it with others. I pray for those who don't believe. But I thank you that I believe.

I believe that God changes people and God changes things. I pray for all my sisters and brothers. For every family member in their households. I pray for peace, love and joy in their homes that they are out of debt and all their needs are met.

I pray that every eye that reads this knows there is no problem, circumstance, or situation greater than God. Every battle is in Your hands for You to fight. I pray that these words be received into the hearts of every eye that sees them and every mouth that confesses them willingly..

This is my prayer.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

-Extracted from an email :)

What A Friend We Have in Jesus

2010-03-28T01:17:00.008+08:00

Wow, I have been away for quite some time...well, not that many people reads my blog anyway:(

I finally had a chance to breathe after the long, hectic gynae posting....Actually, it was rather smooth-going and interesting initially till thursday....when everthing just took a 180 degree turn....i find myself suddenly dragging to finish the posting :(

Starting Sem 9 so far has taught me a great lesson...It made me felt that I finally have to thoroughly equip myself with all the knowledge and management principles and learn things as a whole, rather than just touching everything superficially...I realized that now I have to gather as much knowledge as I can before I can become competent and handle my patients in the near future....

That is why, I don't mind spending most of my times in the wards and clinical settings where I know I can experience some form of clinical skills, something that can't be just read off the textbook....Despite being in the wards EVERY single day, I have to be scolded like this! OMG! I know I was late for one day...and that was entirely my fault, but I cannot possibly force ever single student to go to the wards rite? Wat is the point of forcing them to come when their heart is not even there to learn? TOTALLY POINTLESS! I am there because I want to learn something out of it, therefore I took the initiative to be there even on the day before and on the day of exams! HAIH, and i still have to be scolded :( But, nvm, I shall pray for the one who scolded me, I have learnt not to rant or be too quick to judge a person, you have your own reasons :)

Anywayz, I just got back from a very powerful sermon delivered by Pastor Chris Kam. AMAZING! He talked about storms of life and how as Christians, we grow more during our time of difficulties and challenges...and though how much we've seen things happen to others, nothing beats the experience when that harsh reality just hits you hard on the face out of the blue...

He told us that he learnt how to say what and how during challenges instead of asking why....

His testimony about his experience with his son, Ian having epidermoid cancer was really touching...especially when he related it to a hymn written by....( I can't remember the name) hehe in the 1800s....Really touching...A lot of people cried after listening to his sermon and he ended of well with singing a song, What A Friend We Have in Jesus...I could hear he was already struggling with his own emotions :(

This year has been a really good start for me in terms of spiritual growth, and I have to admit I do grow especially during times of challenges when I really just have to depend on the Lord. I really felt myself growing up especially after sem 9 started...the end of the tunnel is coming I guess :) hopefully I would be able to pass all my exams and graduate as scheduled. And I really long to pour out my best in all the postings and I pray that nothing bad will surge and dampen my "learning" spirits :( just like the incident on Thursday, I really should not let these things overwhelm me :(

Anywayz, I would be baptised soon and this would be another level/step of faith for me...BMEW was such a good weekend...It really revealed to me how God worked in the lives of others....I have been so constrained with all the hustle bustle of med school that sometimes it really blinds me on what is happening outside Seremban Hospital :( Anywayz, it was a very refreshing weekend and a good weekend that every Christian from DUMC should go for!

Till the next posting, Anaes and Radio! TATA!

Dissapointed

2010-01-18T00:23:00.002+08:00

FREAKING DISSAPOINTED WITH MYSELF (That's the worse part, nothing feels worse than being dissapointed with oneself)

AND TIME TO REFLECT UPON MYSELF

NO EXCUSES

AND NO MORE POINTING FINGER AT OTHERS

Blessed Are Those Who Are Meek and Poor In Spirit

2009-12-16T19:01:00.003+08:00

I remember back in Form 4 when my Chemistry teacher ask about our ambitions....

Back then, I was so ambitious and aimed high...and I quickly point to my head and said...Neurologist....

Then along I went to IMU....harsh harsh harsh....almost blew o9ff what's left of me....I could only think of passing my exams, what more excelling....and then along came CNS....it was interesting...but so so tough....I didn't think I would do neurology anymore.....I just dumped the whole idea...and just concentrated on passing exams...

This time, after much hassle and trouble to get into Perth to do neurology....

It was a blessing, or should I say blessing in disguise?

I finally could see the satisfaction of becoming a doctor

And it really makes my heart smile for choosing to step into the medical profession....

Because I know I am here for a purpose, a purpose that no one could ever define...but just deep down I know I am here to make a difference.

Thank you Lord for all your blessings :)

TIme and TIde Waits For No Man

2009-12-02T05:23:00.003+08:00

I asked myself this :

Do I want to be successful or continue to dwell in pity?

I'll choose the former. Everything moves on no matter what, and nothing is gonna stop and wait for yus...might as well pick ourselves up and move on coz it might be too late to recover the days we've wasted on something so unnecessary when actually we could've moved on earlier and thus, progressed further.

From the day I asked myself this, I set my mind towards my goal. Hopefully *fingers crossed* I can achieve my goal.

Birthday Gift from Abroad!!!!

2009-11-24T02:50:00.003+08:00

I've never cried so much on my birthday before...omg....

But I have to say that this is one of the best birthday gift ever....

I'm so far away from them and yet this birthday gift felt so close at heart....

Thank you to all who has made the 23 years of my life memorable.... you know who you are :)
Thank you for shaping and molding me into who I am today...(well, still got loads more to improvelah...)

And ya, I have to take time and smell the roses coz they don't bloom forever....

I can't write anymore...tears just keep pouring and I can't even see the keyboard and screen properly....

I'll just let the videos do the talking...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kC7vVIIH23I

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUPOjzzYQDY

(had some problem embedding the youtube videos...hmm, will try and figure out later...)

Thank you Pui Fun for creating the video and I will always rmb our funny times together especially at Vista...thx for leading me into Christ coz since then, I've grown tremendously and have a better perspective of life....hehe...

Thank you Min for always being the first to call and taking care of me all theses throughout the years I've known you and you do know that I'll be always be there for you no matter wat happens.....becoz Love endures forever ~ 1 Corinthians 13 ~

Thank you Li Yann for being part of my life for the past 10 years and since accepting Christ together, I've seen that you've grown so much and we were and still would be a blessing to each other's life... :)

Thank you Zi Yun for the beautiful message...and yes, you are right....friendship is really not measured by the amount of time we've known each other but rather above it all it's the quality that really matters...thank you for showing me when's right and wrong because it is through that only I learn and really make me realize that reality can be harsh if I don't try to be independent....thx zizi....and I will stop and smell the roses :)

Thank you Valene.........I cried most after reading ur msg...coz it reminds me of the time we studied together during EOS 7...I would have broke down if it is not because of you....Anywayz, you're stronger and better than you imagine yourself to be, so stay strong girl!!!! U can do it and looking forward to see your smiles :)

Thank you Li Shan for being my MOMMY!!!! and the CAMERAWOMAN!!! haha....will always cherish those times we had in VIsta...always playing mahjong, yum-cha, playing cards with the rest of your gang - Lydia, Mustaqim and Wei Loong...you guys really brighten the Vista days...hehe....and thx for always taking care of us in Vista...miss ur green calculator Li SHan!!!!

Thank you Jan for being a true friend of mine along with Min...all these year's we've spent together.....I'll nvr forget them....I miss hanging out with the both of you TOGETHER!!!!! ahhhh.......but hopefully...after all of us graduate, the 3 of yus can sit on the same table and yak throughout the night :)

Randomness

2009-11-23T22:39:00.000+08:00

~ Nothing can hurt unless you give it the power to ~

Every Little Thing Counts

2009-11-21T02:05:00.003+08:00

It didn't occur to me to talk to the 60 year old lady with pancreatic cancer....

2 days ago, she seemed happy and talking about how she wanted to live till she sees her granchildren gets married

Today, she seemed as though fate had betrayed her

And yet at that time, I was thinking of how to have fun and where to go etc...

When I finally gave a thought about this, it's too late d...

Does the medical profession sucks humanity out of you?

I remember I wasn't this cold when I just started....

GOD BLESS YOU LOKE CHAI, wherever you will be :)

P.S. Even the smallest thing you have to offer to others counts :)

Love Letter

2009-11-14T01:27:00.005+08:00

Dear Father,

I still remember the days when I trod along those corridors so aimlessly.
I felt down, tired, helpless.
I marched with heavy steps and tears overfilling my eyes like how rain water overfills the gutters during downpour.
No one to reach out to, I feel so doomed.
But luckily I have You.
I know I have to battle my emotions myself.
But I couldn't have done it without You.
Those days are over but my gratitude towards You shall linger.
I really pray that the days ahead will be brighter and sunnier.
I cannot feed depression.
Neither can I succumb to it.
Because my Father says "TAK NAK" to negativity.

Love,
Sunflower :)

My child,

You may not know me, but I know everything about you.

I know when you sit down and when you rise up.

I am familiar with all your ways.

Even the very hairs on your head are numbered.

For you were made in My image.

In Me you live and move and have your being,

For you are My offspring.

I knew you even before you were conceived.

I chose you when I planned creation.

You were not a mistake,

For all your days are written in My book.

I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

I knit you together in your mother's womb,

And brought you forth on the day you were born.

I have misinterpreted by those who don't know Me.

I am not distant and angry, but am complete expression of love,

And it is my desire to lavish My love on you

Simply because you are My child and I am your Father.

I offer you more than my earthly father ever could,

For I am the perfect Father.

Every good gift that you receive comes from My hand,

For I am your provider and I meet all your needs.

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope

Because I love you with an everlasting love.

My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore,

And I rejoice over you with singing.

I will never stop doing good to you,

For you are my treasured possession.

I desire to establish you with all My heart and all My soul,

And I want to show you great and marvellous things.

If you seek Me with all your heart, you will find Me,

Delight in Me, and I will give you the desires of your heart,

For it is I who gave you those desires.

I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine,

For I amyou greatest encourager.

I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles.

When you are broken hearted, I am close to you.

As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to My heart.

One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes,

And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth.

I am your Father, and I love you even as I love My Son, Jesus,

For in Jesus My love for you is revealed.

He is the exact representation of My being.

He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you,

And to tell you that I am not counting your sins.

Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled

His death was the ultimate expression of My love for you.

I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love.

If you receive the gift of My son Jesus, you receive Me,

And nothing will ever separate you from My love again.

Come home, and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen.

I have always been Father, and will always be Father.

My question is.....Will you be My child?

I am waiting for you.

Love,

Your Dad,

Almighty God.

Funerals

2009-11-08T23:41:00.002+08:00

i'm dissapointed....just so dissapointed :( i should just forget bout it...

i dunno why...i know i shouln't feel this way...but i just am...argh

God will free me of this, He WILL!!!!

Anyways, went to basic doctrine today...

Then something struck my mind...

Mr Daniel Lim played a youtube video by Yasmin Ahmad (it received an award)...

Touching...

Then he asked us, "What would you be remembered for, if it was your funeral?"

I have asked myself this before while I attended my cousin's funeral not too long ago.

I asked myself, "What if this was my funeral? Will anybody attend it? Has what I done be sufficient enough to leave trails of memory, here on Earth? What would people here remember me for?"

I really do not want to live my life here with just the aim to pass another day.
I do no want to wake up in the morning and fill the rest of the day with pure routine work....an not caring bout the rest of te world...
There's so much I want to do, but I don't know i I'm called for it? I also dunno.
Maybe,I really need to realign myself with God, so that I know what He wants me to do, to reach out for His glory.

Anywayz, I think I'll just have to let go of the matter at hand and learn how to enjoy the blessings of God. God Bless everybody!

2009-11-08T02:16:00.002+08:00

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful, he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he wil also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

:)

2009-10-30T00:56:00.002+08:00

Exam is tomorrow....

And of all the time I choose to blog, I choose now pula.

But I have the sudden desire to express how I feel.

I feel that I am surrounded by LOVE.

And I only can attribute this to you.

As long as uplift your name and live in righteousness, I am more than happy.

I owe all this to you.

I dedicate my LIFE to you, Oh Lord.

PEACE

2009-10-21T01:48:00.000+08:00

UNCERTAIN

2009-10-16T06:50:00.002+08:00

So many questions in my mind.

I CAN'T FREAKING STUDY!!!!

T T

2009-10-13T17:31:00.001+08:00

Elective die d...now selective pula :(

Things really don't go as planned, as jeremy said.

All I can do is just pray.

Be happy!

2009-09-26T13:22:00.000+08:00

For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.

P.S. From Sabby's blog!

:)

2009-09-26T12:28:00.002+08:00

Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting;

But a woman whoe fears the Lord is to be praised.

To All of You Who Feels Like Giving Up

2009-09-26T12:00:00.003+08:00

I guess it all depends on what one's definition of falling is....

To some, it means losing your loved ones, losing money, not being able to perform in school or work, not being able to provide enough to satisfy the whims and fancy of your loved ones......

But to me FALLING means......

Straying away from God, straying from the path He wants me to lead, straying from whatever He actually wants me to do,letting unimportant things overwhelm you, when you really should be letting HIM take care of things.....

I FELL. And it was a wake up call for me. And I need the strength to stand back up. The video is right. The most important thing is to FINISH WELL. And it is important to focus on things that I can control rather than focusing on things that I can't.

P.S. : I woke up today feeling so down and depressed. I feel like crying. Is it God's call for me to come to Him?

Hmmmmmmmmmmm.........

2009-09-25T22:18:00.001+08:00

Do you realize by focusing on what others do,
you're focusing on the things you can't control.

I encourage you to ask yourself the same question I
ask myself: why focus on things you can't control?

When you realize there's no good answer for that, you
start focusing on the things you can control.

That's when you'll move from having little impact on
what's happening in your life to having massive impact.

In Remembrance of Yasmin Ahamd

2009-09-24T12:51:00.000+08:00

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...............

:)

Feeling Lucky...

2009-09-23T01:41:00.002+08:00

I really feel so lucky sometimes.
Just bumped into this blog.

WeAreWonderWomen.com

GOD BLESS.

Long Forgotten Songs..

2009-09-23T01:37:00.004+08:00

i haven't heard emi fujita's songs for a darn long time.
songs that i loved so much.
just heard it from sabrina's blog.
LOVE it so much.
I miss those days when i play and replay her songs again.
They just warm my heart so much.
God Bless :)

Randomness...

2009-09-06T17:46:00.003+08:00

You don't marry the person you can live with. You marry a person you can't live without

~Unknown~

At The End of The Day

2009-08-30T04:33:00.005+08:00

I was reading Our Daily Journey today and I came across this :

"Success in life is measured by how many people actually do love you. That's the ultimate test of the way you've lived your life. " ~ Mike Wittmer

Not too long ago, I attended by cousin's funeral. Those close to me would know that he was involved in a freak accident. Imagine losing someone who is your sister's age. Haih. Really pity his family. But he returned to the Lord. His father is happy for him. I'm happy for Him too. That was a major comfort for me.

Somehow, I believe that his death is actually a blessing in disguise. The entire family received Jesus as their personal Lord and saviour after his death. My uncle is one who only sees truth through evidence and hard facts. And so does his older son. Spirituality or whatsoever just isn't in his/his son's dictionary. They are very much practical people, just as the world calls them to be. And for me, to be able to witness my uncle announce to everyone during my cousin's funeral that the entire family had rededicated their lives to the Lord just brings so much warmth to my heart.

This incident taught me a lesson, that I could lose my life at any second, any moment. Our biological clocks are ticking by the second, without us realizing it. Sometimes, death is imminent, unavoidable. It left me pondering for quite some time and I repeatedly asked myself these questions :

1. If I were to die today, what would be the one thing that I regret not doing?
2. If I were to die, would anybody attend my funeral?

1. And it dawned upon me that the one thing I regret not doing is not doing enough for the Lord.
As a child of God, I have the duty to share with the world about Him, His words, His works...and so far, I don't think I have achieved anything close to it... :( And if I could live for another second, the reason would simply be : TO SERVE GOD

2. And I guess the answer to question 2 would be what Mike Wittmer mentioned (as stated above) kua.

I once had this conversation with a friend :
Friend : What actually keeps us going in medical school/when we become doctors in the future is actually the fact that you know that you have touched someone's life, no matter how small a deed you've done for a patient. And when you know this, it really just makes your day.
And I totally agree with him. Even a simple chit-chat can make a patient smile. And the fact that you know that you made the patient carve a smile no matter how scrawny he/she may look, it really does make your day. Well, it made my day at least! haha :)

So, all in all, one important lesson I learnt is that I have to live my life to the fullest and that is to be judged by GOD and no one else. These two phrases keep popping into my head recently :

1. This was during EOS 7. No matter how enthusiastic and how well you start the race, the equation sums up to zero if you do not end your race well.
2. In whatever that I do, I do not have to answer to anyone, except to GOD and GOD alone.

I realized that I am an enthusiastic person. However, in the process, I tire myself too much in the beginning, only to realize that I do not have enough energy and strength to carry on as I am near the finish line. And I regretted for not realizing this earlier. Haih. Hopefully I'll hold on to this reminder in the future.

And when sem 8 starts, I hope to start afresh. And everday, when I walk through that famous IMU walkway, I hope that when the breeze that always brushes lightly unto my skin, the sunlight which shines so ever brightly as the words "Hospital Tuanku Jaffar" etched in red looms near and when I look up into the vast blue sky, graced by wispy white culumonimbus, I would be reminded of God's presence and that He is in charge...and when I trod through those glass doors, I hope that I will be filled with so much peace and joy by the beauty of His creation that I drank in earlier...Just as what I have experienced on many days in the past... :)

Best Friends Forever

2009-08-27T23:06:00.004+08:00

Sometimes in life, there are really bonds formed that can never be broken.

Sometimes, you really can't find that one person who will stand by you no matter what.

Maybe you'll find it in a spouse and celebrate it with a dream wedding.

But there's also a chance that the one person you can count on for a lifetime,

The one person who knows you sometimes better than you know yourself,

Is the same person who has been standing beside you all along.

~ Bride Wars ~

Let's Leave This Titleless...

2009-08-27T03:10:00.004+08:00

It's been so long since I fell in love with a song and keep playing and playing it.

~Anhedonic~

Phony Laughter - Laughter can conceal a heavy heart, but when laughter ends, the grief remains...

2009-08-27T02:44:00.005+08:00

I came across this, during quiet time :

Hunter Adams, the physician whose life story was the basis for the 1998 film Patch Adams, has spent his career encouraging doctor-patient relationships that rely heavily on the use of humour and play. Adams believes establishing this kind of connection with a patient is essential to improving their physical and emotional health.

Laughter and humour are an important part of life. The book of Proverbs says " a cheerful heart is good medicine" (Proverbs 17 :22). Generally speaking, all of us ould use more laughter in our lives.

While there's certainly a time of humour, however, sometimes laughter can be a disguise. People can actually appear to be extrememly happy, yet inside they feel like an emotional wreck. as a counselor, I;ve had a front row seat to people telling some og the most tragic stories of personal suffering, only to end by laughing about it. It's true. Sometimes laughter or making a joke is little more than a cover-up. We can joke around us as a way to hide from others so they won't take us seriously. And many of us have learned to play the clown and hide a lot of deep heartache behind our humour and wit. The book of proverbs says " Laughter can conceal a heavy heart, but when laughter ends, the grief remains" (Proverbs 14 : 13). Although laughter can mask the pain, the pain is still there and we need to address it.

There comes a time in everyone's life when we must face the heartache of life rather than hide from it. There's a time to turn our laughter into mourning (Eccletasiastes 7:3) and invite God to speak words of comfort and healing into wounded places of our heart.

Don't let phony laughter get in the way of the comfort and healing only God can bring. - Jeff Olson

Haih, sometimes I think this message applies to me. I may be all happy, smiling and portraying a cheerful personality on the outside, but sometimes it is just a facade to hide some of my heartaches....There are some heart-wrenching incidents in my life, and I choose not to face it and it's probably somewhere hidden in my hippocampus....and I try so hard to be with other people, so that I can take my mind of things and be happy....but I guess it's better to face it?

But, reality is so cruel and I dare not face it sometimes, so I choose to avoid. Not a very brave move, but I can save myself from the heartache for the time being. However, I know the BEST way is to FACE it and DEAL with it. But it's not easy. Haih. But when you're done dealing with it, it will feel so much better. Wished I had all the courage and wisdom in the world.

But, I'm happy. I know that God has prepared for me an exciting journey ahead. And the only person I have to answer to is God. Nobody else. So, as long as I live my life right with Him, I don't have to worry about anything or anybody. And I learnt my lesson. The most important thing is to FINISH THE RACE. Though no matter how well you started the race, but if you stumble in the end, all the effort is deemed worthless. Slow and steady wins the race. :)

P.S.- So many buts...that's my life, full of buts...
Haiyo, it has been long since I posted up a happy post...hmm, shall get pics from others to cheer up my blog a bit!!!

2009-07-13T05:40:00.002+08:00

No matter how tough circumstances are, it just melts my heart to know that You are Near.

THANK YOU SO MUCH

2009-07-05T11:08:00.002+08:00

I opened up that white piece of paper and the results stared back at me. I am dumbfounded. And i dared bet with my friend about my results.

I totally did not deserve it at all. And there is only YOU made this happen. I made so many mistakes and yet YOU continue to pour your grace unto me. I did not deserve this and yet I know YOU make things happen because YOU love me. And I love YOU too. No matter wat the circumstances are, I will look to YOU because I know no matter how much the world fails me, I know YOU will never fail to look out for me. And I REALLY REALLY THANK YOU FOR THAT.

Thank you for your GRACE. :)

Reason, Season or Lifetime

2009-07-05T10:26:00.000+08:00

To my friends, Reason, Season or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being a part of my life.

God's Rainbow

2009-06-27T04:32:00.003+08:00

Rainbows appear after mighty storms
whent things look their very worst.
Just when the skies are darkest grey,
look for the rainbow first.

The rainbow is a sign of God's promise,
that He will guide us through any storm.
That He will see us through all our troubles,
no matter what their form.

When you feel battered by life's storms,
and you are filled with doubt and dismay,
just remember God's rainbow is coming -
It's only a prayer away.

EMOTIONS

2009-06-21T02:12:00.001+08:00

I PROMISE NOT TO LET MY EMOTIONS OVERWHELM ME!!!

I PROMISE. I PROMISE.

:( or :) ? Maybe it's :):

2009-06-20T22:58:00.002+08:00

Sometimes my life sucks so much that I can't see beyond what I'm doing now.

I can't believe I let my emotions overwhelm me to the point I fell like I can't breathe. To a point I feel stuck and no where to go. To a point where i just end up in roundabouts.

I must STOP doing that. STOP. STOP.

Thank you friends for being there for me. You all know who you are :)

And to do myself, my friends, my family and my GOD a favour, I have to REPENT and CHANGE and REALIGN myself, for the better.

I have to rise up again and conquer my weaknesses.

But Obs is quite a tough hurdle.

EOS too.

I guess we have to see things from diff perspectives rite? A friend who smsed me today made me realized tat. And it is important not to allow circumstances / situations to frighten or torture you. I may be at my worst. But other people may have it worse.

Dododo, Dadada

2009-06-07T07:38:00.004+08:00

Last week, I was dead tired.

Dead physically, mentally and spiritually. Was back at Seremban last Saturday, missed church and it has been hectic everyday since.

Yesterday's service was awesome. Really did refresh and strengthen me. Seeing fellow Christians around me and watching how they praise and love God touches my heart. Watching the kids performing little actions while worshipping makes my heart smile :) The speaker yesterday really did speak to my heart and no matter how difficult the journey ahead will be, I can always turn to Him. No matter what happens, I can always turn to Him. When everything fails, He will Never fail.

I really like paeds posting, I really do. Just that I'm not doing enough to do well in it. Haih, must buck up!!!

Stress

2009-05-21T23:12:00.001+08:00

STRESS, STRESS, STRESS!!!

Troubled.

Time to realign my life.

Reminiscence

2009-04-26T09:10:00.003+08:00

Was just growing through the older posts in my blog....

And I just realized how "strong" the posts were.... Did I even write those?
And I just realized how much I miss my friends... :(
And I know that I could've done more than what I am doing now.

Reminder

2009-04-26T08:46:00.002+08:00

I must remind myself of this vow I made earlier in this blog :

In times of difficulty, remember these two things :

1. Your purpose in life is not about scoring good results, strive for "earthly" excellence(fame, money and what not), be the best doctor nor it is about doing as much good deeds as possible to better your relationship with those around you. It is about GOD. If your relationship with Him is right, everything will fall into place.

2. Your life in the world is just temporary before we reunite with Him. Everything in the world will pass. So wat is the point of worshipping or dwell too much about earthly things when you know that these things will only hold during your lifetime in Earth? Isn't it better if we dwell in stuff in the world that will better ourselves in preparation of the eternal life we're gonna have after this?

I know these are not evidence-based. But my testimony of my walk with Him can be of evidence. And all I can say is that it is 100% faith-based. That's how I passed my EOS 5 without breaking down. These are the principles I hold onto everyday. I have to remind myself about these 2 things and life seems so much simpler after that. Clearer mind, clearer objectives in life.

My faith was at the "height" that time. And now it's beginning to wither. And clinical school should not be an excuse.

I can't believe I've grown so cold now. I hope it's not too late to change.

Continue to speak to me, Oh Lord. And I'll promise to try and fulfill the tasks you tell me to do.

Rantings....

2009-04-23T02:37:00.002+08:00

My body feels weak,
My heart feels even more feeble,
but You told me to have Faith,
You told me to be Strong,
Because no matter what happens,
I have You to fall back on,
And this is the biggest encouragement,
For me to carry on,
Because I know that with Your strength,
I will pull through,
Through darkness/rainy days,
I know You will be always looking out for me,
If I continue to seek you with all my Heart and Soul.

Adam Lambert - Satisfaction

2009-03-07T12:13:00.002+08:00

Adam Lambert, Like all your Fans out there..

I HEART YOU!

JOURNAL 1 - Watching for God

2009-02-19T12:25:00.004+08:00

I'm about to embark on a whole new journey with God...and I am about to pen it down right here, as a testimony for myself and benefit of others...( and sorta to revive my blog as well...hehe)

Here I go...

Date : 19/2/2009
Title : Watching For God
Scripture : 1 Kings 18:41-46

Many a times, in the midst of our busy-ness, we shun God out of our lives. During the days when I have to go to the hospital, every other day is a mundane routine and struggle for me. I dread to wake up to the beginning of the next day and at times, all I want to do is just sleep, so as to avoid myself from thinking about the task and uncertaintiy that is gonna lie ahead of me.

Nevertheless, I continue to pray hard...pray and pray and pray and right now, I think I am beginning to see God's work in me. I begin to see the purpose of whatever I am doing and begin to realize that God has His own purpose for me.

Sometimes (actually all the time), to appreciate God's word, we have to open our heart fully to Him and wholly depend on Him. Next question is, "Would that make us totally dependent on Him?" I guess, we gotta be "selectively" dependent on Him (if you know wat i mean. We have to do our art to the very best and whatever we can't control, we leave it to Him. I've tried this many times before and guess what? He never leaves me struggling, He blesses me and shows me the way, in His own, mysterious ways...Bless the LORD!!!

If we fo not open u our hearts, minds, ears and eyes for HIm, we may end up like Elijah's servant in 1 Kings 18; not being able to reognize God's answer for us. We have to tune ourselves to God's frequency by consistently looking out for His word'works.

1 Kings 18 :44 ; A cloud as small as a man's hand is rising from the sea
1 King's 18 :45 ; Meanwhile the sky grew black with clouds, the wind rose, a heavy rain came on...
Only Elijah recognized that the small wisp of cloud was God's work at hand. Who would've thought that the small wisp of cloud would bring rain over the drought that has empowered Israeal for years? Only Elijah did.

In summary, this scripture has taught me two things :
1. The power of prayer (Elijah prayed and prayed for the rain to come)
2. Tune in with the Lord so that I can recognize his work/word

Thought For The Day :
A tiny change can signal the beginning of a miracle. Think small!! - Jolynne Keough

There it is --- the journal from my Growth Journal...Hope that in future I would have time to journal...

Odios!!!

EXHAUSTION

2009-01-24T02:22:00.002+08:00

I'm EXHAUSTED.

Sometimes I don't even know why I'm doing what I'm doing now.
There are other paths, why did I choose this?
I hope to find the answer soon.
And I know He has the answer.
Hopefully I'll be enlightened with the answer soon :)

LIGHT

2008-12-09T01:09:00.003+08:00

NO matter how dark and long the road ahead may be,

As long as I hold unto you,

You'll always light up my pathway,

I WILL finish this race WELL.

Hopeful

2008-11-23T08:10:00.001+08:00

For those who follow God, the uncertain future holds certain hope.

Be Grateful :)

2008-10-30T22:17:00.002+08:00

Honesty, Sincerity and Integrity

2008-10-30T20:56:00.002+08:00

A doctor asked today...

What is honesty? What is sincerity? What is integrity?

Sincerity is being honest to other people.

Integrity is being honest to yourself.

Hold onto these words and you shall go far in your career.

I shall remember these words forever.

2 Principles I Must Live and Die With

2008-10-06T20:43:00.001+08:00

In times of difficulty, remember these two things :

1. Your purpose in life is not about scoring good results, strive for "earthly" excellence(fame, money and what not), be the best doctor nor it is about doing as much good deeds as possible to better your relationship with those around you. It is about GOD. If your relationship with Him is right, everything will fall into place.

2. Your life in the world is just temporary before we reunite with Him. Everything in the world will pass. So wat is the point of worshipping or dwell too much about earthly things when you know that these things will only hold during your lifetime in Earth? Isn't it better if we dwell in stuff in the world that will better ourselves in preparation of the eternal life we're gonna have after this?

I know these are not evidence-based. But my testimony of my walk with Him can be of evidence. And all I can say is that it is 100% faith-based. That's how I passed my EOS 5 without breaking down. These are the principles I hold onto everyday. I have to remind myself about these 2 things and life seems so much simpler after that. Clearer mind, clearer objectives in life.

Spirituality

2008-09-29T23:14:00.003+08:00

A doctor mentioned that those who question about spirituality are either those awho are old or at the brink of death or those who have experienced many deaths of close ones in life.

SO dear anonymous, maybe it's time you question about your own spirituality as well. It strengthens you from within. With that, you can weather almost any storm that come your way.

Moonlight Resonance - Talk To Me

2008-09-28T02:34:00.000+08:00

A Wedding At Last!!!

2008-09-28T01:16:00.006+08:00

Can you believe it?

I've actually been to more funerals than weddings...

One by one gone,

Cancer, sudden deaths, accidents....

So happy I could attend a wedding at last....

Went to my cousin's wedding today....

Tears welled up in my eyes when they surprised their parents with a video of both my aunty and uncle....from their wedding days till now....

26 years of sweet memories between my aunty and uncle.....

So touching to see my cousins hug their parents....

I realised that I can't do that for my mom if I ever get married....

Can't surprise her with a video dictating the wonderful marriage she never had....

I never had the opportunity to experience a father's love....

She never really had the opportunity to feel the love from her husband...

Sometimes I do wonder how it will feel like to actually have a male figure in the house....

Nevertheless, I could picture myself on my own marriage ceremony,

Standing on that very stage, thanking my mother for working so hard to support both her daughters...

Without her, I would never be able to realize my dream to become a doctor,

Be a contributor to this society,

Be someone who can make a difference in this world,

I want to make a difference.

God, guide me and give me strength so that I may achieve your dreams for me.

Thank you for revealing to me from time to time that you are always by my side....

I can sense it...Thank you so much.

P.S. - Congrats to Benny and Kelly!!!! God Bless!!!

Random thoughts...

2008-09-19T22:00:00.002+08:00

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity,

An optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty...

I wrote this for Li Shan before she left....

I hope I can berpegang to this prinsip too :)

Clinical School

2008-09-07T02:26:00.002+08:00

Had been busy in Seremban.

On the first nite in Sremban, we were already deciding on when to go back and how to go back. How funny.

Orientation week was filled with speeches - tormenting us on how busy clinical school would be (no clubs/societies in imu coz it'll eventually die off within 6 months), how each one of us have to be independent and take initiative to learn everything by ourselves...etc etc

It's rather scary listening to all those speeches....how busy my life will turn out to be...and in the midst of all those i have to scrape out every courage and bravery in me to ask more questions, talk to more patients, perform procedures on REAL patients, learn to be independent....

On top of postings, got IMS (INtegrated Medical Seminar) to do, TBLs (Task Based Learning) and CFCS (Community and Family Case Study)....so much things, yet so little time...

Sometimes like very hard to breathe.....

But i know now, I have to do my best and learn as much as possible so that I can be a good doctor and keep to my promise I've made during the med school interview and the oath I've taken in med school and certainly my promise to GOD...

The promise of saving other people's lives, ease the burden of individuals and the community, use my skills to help those in need, go for missions.....so that I can glorify HIS name...

I don't know how good I will be at it. But I am very determined to do so.

I Will Be Here - Steven Curtis Chapman

2008-08-31T04:46:00.003+08:00

First heard this on Shih Ying's blog...

Very meaningful song...Loved the guitar as well...

Dedicated to all my friends out there...

In your times of darkness and uncertainty,

If you need me,

I will be here. He will be here too.

P.S. I Love You - The Movie

2008-08-31T04:36:00.002+08:00

Just finished watching P.S. I Love You yesterday....

And this is my favourite scene!!!

FOOD HAVEN!!!

2008-08-31T04:13:00.005+08:00

Been to Aus For 2 weeks.. and it's not just Australian Cuisine that I indulge in....

I've tried :
1. Japanese Food
2. Middle Eastern Food
3. Vietnamese Food
4. Greek Food
5. Cantonese Food
6. Western Food
7. Italian Food
8. Korean Food
9. Spanish Delicacy

U name it...I've eaten it....haha :) ALL of them were SUPERB!!!

Enjoy....the yummy-licious photos....

Seremban....

2008-08-31T03:30:00.011+08:00

What am I doing now?

Just watched Nip/Tuck on TV....Rather boring....

Just packed my stuff for SEREMBAN...

Everybody has moved on...either to their PMS or BMed Sc....

Now it's my turn...boo hoo hoo :(

Will be moving into our new hse in seremban tmr....

Will be embarking on a whole new journey of clinicals next TUES...

HAIH....wished hols was longer....

Here are snippets of the hse in Seremban, courtesy of Valene... (yet to be furnished of course...)

Melbourne Part 4 - Grampians

2008-08-27T03:46:00.007+08:00

The Grampians National Park is a national parkin Victoria, Australia, 235 kilometres west of Melbourne.

Pay attention to the rocks in the pics...one look like a face...the other look like a chimpanzee!!!

Kite Runner

2008-08-26T16:29:00.002+08:00

Just finished reading kite runner in the wee hours of the day....

And only one word best describes it....

SPECTACULAR.

One of the better books i've read in a long time.

Will be starting A Thousand Splendid Suns soon.

And I heard it is better.

Book Review

2008-08-23T02:08:00.008+08:00

Was reading this book

If you are a romance addict, this book is perfect for you. Although this book has a simple plot and written straightforwardly, simple English, P.S. I Love you is definitely a page turner. It talks about how a widower copes with her life after the death of her beloved husband and how her friends help her deal with the matters that lay ahead of her. This book's plot is based on the notes that her husband had written for her when he was still alive. Each note, undoubtedly, ended with P.S. I Love You. He wrote messages that were meant to be open once every month.

Nice and sorta typical romantic story.

Now reading this book.

Read 100 pages of this book. This book is definitely another page turner. Set in Afghanistan, this story tells us how two kids grew up together. One incident during the kite competition changed both their lives forever...Am looking forward to finish this book!!! Still got bout 200 plus pages. Both heartwrenching and touching!!!! Definitely a must read. After finishing this book I will proceed to A Thousand Splendid Suns (Jan said this book lagi heartwrenching...sob sob :( )

Next in Line :

Save more tissue paper. But most importantly, save more money first...hehe...

Melbourne Part 3 - Great Ocean Road

2008-08-23T00:17:00.055+08:00

Great Ocean Road

The road was constructed as a Memorial to those killed in the First World War. It is one of Australia's great scenic coastline drives.

The Great Ocean Road was built by 3000 returned servicemen (or "Diggers") as a war memorial for fellow servicemen who had been killed in the First World War.

Houses on the hill side....Most of these houses were destroyed by the bush fire...those you see in the pics are those which are rebuilt after the bushfire...

Lighthouse Discovery Trail

12 Apostles

Koala Bear!!!

Rainforest Walk

Melbourne Part 2

2008-08-20T03:14:00.047+08:00

University of Melbourne

Breathtaking landscape, awestrucking (is there such a word???) traditional buildings, University of Melbourne is a place to be.

Deep Sea Fishing - In WINTER!!!!!!!

Notice the name?? BOWEN - Bow To WEN...hehe...LAME..i know...

Yi Man & I

Min and Yi Man

Hui Yee and Danny....freezing cold....

The seagulls were chasing after us...coz we got baits on our fishing line...haha...

In the end, all of us managed to fish some victims out of the sea...tapi semua pun too small....cheh...then, we had to let them go into the sea...only Min managed to get some reasonably sized fish which we brought home...Min FRIED them...hehe...not nice also...so many bones...why waste so much effort to venture into the deep sea and catch them?? During winter some more...freezing cold....beli dari market sajalah....BUT i guess it's the experience that matters, rite???

Melbourne Nightline

The building at the back is an Art Centre...its design itself is already artistic....

Hui Yee and I at Federation Square...

Flinders Street Station

Art Deco tat Hui Yee and Amanda went...poor me and Min didn't go...coz I didn't bring my student ID...so tak ada concession price...haha...so, it was rather expensive...we just took photos outside...

TADA..............!!!!!!!!!!!! - Random pic...so lame!!!

Wall - E : Action Speaks Louder Than Words

2008-08-15T02:08:00.004+08:00

so cute.........wished my life was more of action and less of words too :)

this movie unfolds profound love btw wall-e and eve without them talking much...their conversation is only limited to like less than 5 words??? Yet they can express their love for each other so well....

Good movie...good laugh and like all Disney-Pixar movies - there's a lesson to be learnt :)

Melbourne Part 1

2008-08-15T01:21:00.035+08:00

Queen Victoria Market

Queen Victoria Market is the largest open air market in the Southern Hmisphere and is named after Queen Victoria who ruler the British Empire.

Loads of fresh vegetables and fruits...not that expensive...almost comparable to the prices in Malaysia. Cooking at home is the best, least expensive option in Melbourne. Eating out costs a BOMB!!!

Superbly clean....

Look at the variety of breads they have there...Min bought a few types..made us turkey and salmon sandwiches for our trips!!!! ooo...it's so yummy...better than subway man.... :)

Look ath the variety of sausages and ham and bacons.....omg-ness...

Fresh vegetables.......

Look at how fresh the tomatoes are...

Hui Yee, Su-Min and Me

Shrine of Remembrance

Shrine of Remembrance, located in St Kilda Road, is one of the largest war memorials in Australia

It now serves as a memorial for all Australians who served in war and it is the site of annual observances of ANZAC Day (25 April) and Remembrance Day (11 November).

Around the Sanctuary walls is a frieze of 12 carved panels depicting the armed services at work and in action during World War I.

The bronze statue of a father and son

Medals to commemorate the soldiers. Different medals represent different countries the soldiers fought at.

The Sanctuary contains the marble Stone of Remembrance, upon which is engraved the words "Greater love hath no man". Once a year, on 11 November at 11 a.m. (Remembrance Day), a ray of sunlight shines through an aperture in the roof to light up the word "Love" in the inscription.

Eternal Flame, a permanent gas flame

It was supposed to read "Lest We Forget..." This Wong Su-Min was being cheeky and took the pic of me and Forget...

Royal Botanical Gardens

Beautifully landscaped and serene. Perfect place to wed during spring when the flowers are blooming. Showcases lush greeneries, old-old large trees with a beautiful lake patched right in the middle.

Central Pier

Cow Up A Tree..hehe...

PASSION - Ashley's Journal

2008-08-09T03:27:00.007+08:00

Ashley is a student of University of Florida, the Top party school in the States. Now you can imagine what happens when the parties would start. She is an unbeliever, living in an apartment with her boyfriend. She was in her senior year when one day she went home and caught her boyfriend sleeping with another girl; of course she was devastated. She broke up with him, kicks him out of the apartment and posts an ad at school about needing a new roommate. A girl named Christa found it and later on became Ashley’s roommate. While Ashley was on her depressed mode, she wrote about how screwed up her life is and every once in a while mentioned details about her new roommate Christa, how she acts crazy and is a freako believing in God and all that Christian stuff; Ashley says:“what a fruitcake”!(now that’s supposed to sound mean. and provoking)

Ashley gets more and more intrigued at how her roommate lived her life, there was a day Ashley was wallowing over her situation crying whole day and eating ice cream, and her roommate took time to ask her if there was any problem. The roommate sat beside her and started eating ice cream too. Ashley told her roommate what happened and she said she never heard the response she was expecting to come out; no condemnation but genuine care and sympathy. The roommate asked if she could pray for her but of course, Ashley refused. Ashley’s Mom and brother are Christians. She said she would have expected her brother to be good to her, but it’s puzzling her that Christa, the fruitcake, acts that way with her.

Ashley becomes all the more bothered how Christa had been living her life which was opposite of how she lives. It was obvious that the roommate didn’t drink, and when asked if she slept with her boyfriend whom she’s been with for three years she said she’s still a virgin. That was crazy stuff for Ashley who could sleep with a guy she’s only been with for three weeks. She asked why Christa was living her life that way, and the answer was a desire to please God in all that she does.

Christa shared about how much Jesus loved her. Ashley kept writing on her journal, and just can’t accept that God could forgive her. God is just not for her type. Ashley was on her moment of unbelief. But it was funny how Christa would share about her experience at a Passion conference and even had a DVD of Louie Giglio sharing a sermon. Ashley writes about how crazy that was.

To Ashley, God just can’t forgive a crap like her but God was working in Ashley’s life, and Christa is doing her work in being a good witness of God’s love and grace. As they lived together and the days passed by, Christa had shared about the good news of God’s grace that forgives, even to the worst of all people, even Ashley. She saw that love in “fruitcake” and wanted that for herself. One day, Ashley finally believed and gave in and she said in her journal, “that was it”, the day she became a Christian; the unconditional love of Jesus flooded her heart with peace. She experienced this love and grace that God has for everyone.

Ashley attended one of the Bible studies where Christa attends. The youth didn’t act in a crazy way but were interested at her and were genuine. So they sang and Ashley didn’t know the song but she really liked it and felt like raising her hands too, but she didn’t. When she got home, she googled the lyrics of the song they sung and it just communicated to her so well.

Everyone needs compassion

A love that’s never failing

Let mercy fall on me

Everyone needs forgiveness

A kindness of a Savior

The hope of nations

SaviorHe can move the mountains

My God is Mighty to save

He is Mighty to save

ForeverAuthor of salvation

He rose and conquered the grave

Jesus conquered the grave

So take me as

You find me

All my fears and failures

Fill my life again

I give my life to follow

Everything I believe in

Now I surrender

Shine your light and let the whole world see

We’re singing for the glory of the risen King…Jesus

Ashley and Christa talked about how God’s children worship Him and that’s one of the ways.Ashley made her family know about her being a Christian and her mom cried and her brother was so happy to see her. Their prayers were answered. Ashley emailed Louie about her experience, and Louie shared this story to many people, even writing it to the passion blog and it’s being heard in their podcast. Ashley was thrilled that many people can know of her experience, that of God’s unconditional love forgiving her and changing her.

This post is originally taken from http://ajokersthought.blogspot.com/2008/08/ashleys-journal-summary-of-coz-taken.html

Not long after, Louie received annother email which reads :

Dear Mr. Giglio

It is with a heavy heart that I send you this email. My daughter is Ashley, she wrote you an email that went on your blog and podcast. Well, today May 3rd at 4pm, we buried Ashley.She was killed in a car accident late on Sunday night. She lost control of her car and hit a light pole.She was the only car involved and had a serious internal bleeding.She died in the arms of my husband at the hospital from unstopable internal bleeding. But I have hope of seeing my daughter again. I have this hope because after years of raying for her, and watching her live a lifestyle in the college that is known as the typical college experience. The last semester of her college career I saw a woman, not a college girl that I have never been more proudt to call my daughter.I I can point the thanks to you and Chris Tomlin, David Crowder, Matt Redman and everyone else involved in your Passion Conferences. Ashley fell in love with our Saviourover the last 5 months of her life. She was so excited about graduation this week and moving to California to work her first real job. She had a life ahead of her.I miss my beautiful princess more than anything else in this world.

But I just felt like you should know that she listened to as many of your talks as she could get her hands on and read your book, "I am not but I know I am" and she was so excited about God and her new found faith.Words alone cannot thank you enough. I may never meet you here on Earth, but I know that someday I wil be able to meet you and give you a hug in heaven, but only after Ash does. Thank you so much for praying for my girl and your support for her as she was starting her new life. Also thanks for being a man of God who has a passion and love for college students.

Your vision to share the gospel and getting college students to do the same made all the difference at the funeral today. Instead of being sad and scared for her, we are able to singpraise and worship songs today. Though there will be tears and I am so very heartbroken and crying as I type this, it is only because I will not be able to hold her for so many years. And I will miss her for the rest of my life. I know I have said thank you a lot in this email, but because of you and Christa (Ashley's roomate) and people at the Bible Study that she was going to, she was happier than I have seen her in in a very long time. In her email she originally sent to you, it said that she had life for the first time in her 22 years and please know she meant every word of that. She lived the last few months serving and loving and learning more about Christ. She will now spend eternity in heaven with Him, so one more time, thanks. I know this was long and I debated for the last 4 days as to whether or not to write to you. I know you are a very busy man, but I also figured you would want to know.

Ashley's mom,

Anna

Read this website : http://268generation.com/blog/2007/05/
This post reveals Ashley's email to Pastor Louie Giglio after she attended Passion 2007 and also another email by Ashley's mom to Pastor. They even created Facebook for Ashley.

Passion 2008 certainly did speak to me. Ashley's journal is a testimony to those in the world. Everyone is worthy of this love that God offers. You just need to ask for it. I am a testimony to God's love too. My life has certainly changed since I accepted him into my life. There are a lot of things that are unexplainable. His GRACE for us is sometimes uexplainable. What you need is to believe in Him first and open your heart, let His love pour into your life.

My passion now is nothing but to make Jesus famous in my generation.

P.S.- A pastor once said, if God is so mighty, then why people still have to die? Sometimes God blesses other people in many ways. And one of them is through death. Ashley's death and my cousin's death has been a testimony to a lot of people. And I am sure a lot of people have received grace through it and accepted Jesus into their lives. Their deaths have blessed so many other people. And I believe, as they look down at us from heaven, they are smiling, their great purposes in their life has been achieved.

My Love Will Get You Home - Christine Glass

2008-07-31T19:43:00.003+08:00

Was looking for a song that was featured in countless tvb dramas that Yi Ching mentioned this morning....sadly, i could only remember the singer's first name, "Glass" and part of the song title, "Lead You Home" (haha....remember wrongly some more....)

Anywayz, I googled and youtubed....and I thought it was this :

Mana tahu, it's actually this :

Haha...anywayz, I love both songs...whether it is "your heart" or "my love", both will lead you home :)

2008-07-26T05:48:00.000+08:00

You can’t change the world around you until you change your world.

Glory to the LORD!!!

2008-07-22T18:58:00.006+08:00

So tired...after a day's travel to seremban....Finally got a place in seremban 3...it's not particularly fantastic...but i think it's still.....ok...hehe...:)

Won't be posting my Aus pics so soon coz I still need to get some photos from Hui Yee...

So, what should I post aboutleh??? Hehe...Sigh...

I remembered the first few days when I reached Australia....I arrived in a terrible condition...Down with flu...nose block, ear block....everything blocked...mind block also...

Was gripped with so much tension and fear...Fear of the Viva results which will be released on the day after I arrive....didn't get much sleep in the plane some more...and then that stupid Jetstar was delayed for 4 hrs...omg... :(

Was so happy when my mom finally told me I didn't get Viva...my heart finally heaved a sigh of relieve for the first time in like a week? Then on fri, my mom sent me an sms which read, "Congratulations, you have passed your End of Sem 5 exam" when I was on the way back from Great Ocean Road....My heart leapt with joy man....In my heart, I whispered, "Thank GOD!!!"

On Sat, my mom received the results slip from IMU...This time, IMU is really damn efficient..hehe...When she told me my results, I was like.... "PRAISE THE LORD!!!!" I also have to thank GOD for giving me this trip to Melbourne...I thought I wouldn't be able to make it this time coz all the flights were full!!!!Yet, again, He didn't fail to prove His wonders...I managed to get air tickets to Melbourne!!!! When I was tucking in comfortably on Min's inflatable matress at the hall, I looked up...I suddenly felt so blessed....THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN!!!

I told myself that this time around I owe my results to God...It was undoubtedly GOd's work and God's alone...If it was not for Him, I couldn't imagine how many times I would have broke down and indulge in my dark, sad, gloomy, exam orientated world...Last EOS, I totally freaked out, I was so nervous and my heart was racing beyond countable beats throughout the whole exam...exp for OSCE and OSPE...I was practically dragging myself to the next station...From one station to the next, my heart raced faster and faster....and my mind was getting more and more shrouded with confusion and fear....At times, my mind just went...poof! BLANK!!!

This time around was so much better...Exam was so much tougher this time, but yet...I sensed the calmness and security within me...I know that if I do my best, He will take care of the rest...He was the only one that I could cling on throughout the whole EOS...I felt safe, coz I know that He will provide, no matter wat the circumstances are...provided that you seek for Him truthfully and earnestly....and this time around...I didn't pay much attention on seeking for that A that I was always longing for throughout my entire life....Instead, I chose to seek for HIM more than usual...I seek for His solace and comfort after each tiring day....and He made me realize that I shouldn't blind myself with studies like I did for the past 21 years....there are other things more important than studies....all these years academic achievements have been at the top of my priority list...family, frens...all brushed aside...sigh...i realize my mistake now....There are so many other things worth pursuing for, rather than studies alone....I know that this time, I have to spend more time cherishing my frens around me rather than concentrating solely on studies alone....

After the first paper, I was a bit devastated....My heart started racing after the first few questions....Then I told myself, SHIT, how am I gonna complete this paper??? I took a deep breath...prayed to GOD....skipped all the sem 5 and 4 questions....to sem 3 questions....I managed to calm myself down....went back to the sem 5 and 4 questions and luckily I managed to finish the paper.....I tembaked almost all the true/false questions but I am still grateful that I managed to finish the paper....THANK GOD....

Next paper, OSPE....couldn't sleep tat nite....dunno why.....but luckily I managed to stay calm througout the whole paper....I started with a tough station...couldn't answer almost the whole question....it was a question which asked us to identify the microscopic picture (some urinary crystals) shown in the diagram...I was LIKE...omg....they really wanna kill us is it??? Yet, I managed to stay calm and squeeze out the entire knowledge I have gained throughout these 2 and 1/2 years from my brain and apply it onto my question papers....I managed to finish my OSPE paper with emotions unscathed this time, unlike the last time around....

OSCE....haha...I blew up my first stations on both days....didn't managed to finish both stations...but you know wat, I am still glad and proud to shout PRAISE THE LORD!!!! If it was the last time punya me...I would have freaked out and let my emotions cloud my mind and affect the other 9 stations on each day...but luckily, I took it calmly and told myself, "what the heck, 1 station onlymah...still got 9 more stations...cannot let it affect the rest..." I looked onto GOD for calmness and totally compartmentalized my thoughts for the first station and steadily breeze through the other 9....I have to say, that it is GOD and GOD alone whom has stayed alongside me throughout the whole exam...He gave me faith, courage and strength...and I will continue to seek him and have my faith for HIM grow and grow.... :) I hope I can serve HIM one day, so that HIS glory and word penetrate every inch of this planet because, He is really worth out trust and faith... :)

Greetings From Down Under...

2008-07-09T23:44:00.004+08:00

HEY everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm currently DOwn Under at Min's place......

Having a nice time here....though weather here is cold, it's damn chilly and nice....

Playing games with Hui Yee every night...and Yi Man ye;sterday....It's called WII....it's damn nicelah...we call it menganas-ing... :)

Food here is superb...Ppl here are superb...architecture and environment here are superb too......looking forward to watch Musical (Wicked) with Min next Wed...Haven't bought the tickets yet though....

Today went to makan Jap food at Crowns Hotel with Amanda Lai......Walau....Damn nice....but..hehe...damn expensivelah...after that, Hui Yee insisted we go to the casino...so we wentlor...but we managed to keep her from gambling..keke...

Anywayz, chao first...maybe can play some WII with Hui Yee later...though it's like already 2 a.m. here...keke...

Tata!!!!

Sunfower

Random Rants

2008-07-06T01:09:00.004+08:00

Exams finally over...............Now keeping my fingers crossed......

Went to church today...Li Yann came to fetch me...then she makaned some dessert and i drank Sarsi....just the usual stuff we do...Come 4.55pm, we went into the hall for church service....shook Pastor's hands....also the usual stuff we do...

When we started worshipping, that's when it's rather unusual...I just felt that, wah....it had been a long time since i've been to church (though it had just been a week) .Then i felt like I was finally at home again....back towhere I really belong...Needless to say, my tears were pouring endlessly throughout the whole worship...during the worship songs, the prayers and even holy communion...

Dunno why I feel so emo...I guess it must be the stress of exams that has taken toll on me...stripping me off my spiritual life...and when I'm finally filled with spiritual love again I can't help but just let tears of love for my Father flow....The lyrics were speaking to my heart today...The content of the prayers too....and I am glad that I have Him by my side.

Throughout this whole exam week, I could sense His presence. Compared to EOS 3, I was a lot calmer this time. In sem 3, I had panic attacks during ospe and osce...My mind even went blank for some of the same stations and I had palpitations for every station I went through...When I kena marah by Htin Aung in one of the osce stations, my heart literally shattered and my mood was kinda affected after that....

But somehow, this time...I had the sense of reassurance...this time around though i screwed up damn a lot of osce and ospe stations, I still felt calm and cool for the other stations....no more palpitations, no more panic attacks... I felt happier this way...though exam was tougher than the last, I felt better and calmer this time....And though I'm worried if I would get viva next week, I know that God has His plans all worked out for me and no matter what the turnout may be, I'll accept it...

Praise the Lord for bringing me through my days of darkness...In the future, when I graduate as a doctor, I will serve and contribute to the community as much as possible. I will answer your calls and serve my people to my very best. And no matter what happens, my heart is always for my patients and the people around me and of course, for my Father, Jesus Christ.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

As I was studying for EOS, I told myself, not to let studies be 1st priority....I have to keep close to God...and I also told myself, I just have to pass this exam...I know that we're created for greater purposes and greater things rather than just studies alone...

Wherever I went, people are just talking bout EOS....I was thinking to myself, IMU is ending in like a few days time and we're not even given the opportunity to cherish the times we had left in IMU...2 1/2 years of friendship isn't actually a short period of time....The bonds we shared together as a batch....and the KKB trips....I will never forget that....especially the wan with DR Sasikala...she's my role model man....I know that her heart is always for the people and she made me realize that being a doctor was my calling...Dr Sasi, gbu wherever you are... :)

On our farewell party, Htin Aung and Hla Yee Yee gave a very special speech....I'm not sure if the message spoke to the others, but it really spoke to my heart...

Dr Htin said, " Do i empathise if I scold you and you cry? No, I won't. If you can't even handle a simple thing like this, how would you handle bigger things in the future? I am strict because I want to bring the BEST out of you."

Wah...when he said this, all my hatred for him suddenly was kinda erased... (not all though...hehe...) The level of my respect for him suddenly grew from -1000 to..mmm...dunno? but definitely a positive figurelah....hehe... Dr. Hla ended beautifully with a quote on success....

But I still dunno how they got married....two totally opp characters...but i guess it takes yin and yang to balance off the energy...hehe...

Oklah, my head, throat and eyes killing me d....gotta catch back some sleep...God Bless EVERYONE!!!!

Be Like A Sunflower - Always Smiling To The Sun

2008-06-17T02:36:00.005+08:00

Shafts of rays from the eye of heaven

Drench my little bedroom,
I opened my eyes,
My nose caught a tang of fresh breeze,
Of a beautidul SUNday.

I looked out the window,
Early morning dews were condensed on the chlorophyll laden plants,
Birds were chirping and humming to melodious tunes so soothing to the ears,
And amongst those background,
A bright yellow sunflower stares at me,
Smiling UpoN me,
What more can I do?
My lips carved into a sparkling gleam,

While drawing breaths,
Of a beatiful SUNday.

A being that looks upon the mighty power for strength ,
Just like a SUNflower which grows toward the SUN,
Just like a SUNflower which needs SUNlight for photosynthesis,
SUe weN needs the SON of God for power and strength...

When you wake up everyday,
Please don't throw your dreams away
Hold them close to your heart,
Coz we're a part
Of the Ordinary Miracle...

I Heart SUNflowers :)

When I Think It's Impossible....

2008-06-13T17:11:00.005+08:00

hehe....copied this from christene's blog...whom copied from someone elses' blog...kekeke....

You say: "It's impossible"
God says: All things are possible (Luke 18:27)
You say: "I'm too tired"
God says: I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28-30)
You say: "Nobody really loves me"
God says: I love you (John 3:16 & John 3:34 )
You say: "I can't go on"
God says: My grace is sufficient (II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)
You say: "I can't figure things out"
God says: I will direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5-6)
You say: "I can't do it"
God says: You can do all things (Philippians 4:13)
You say: "I'm not able"
God says: I am able (II Corinthians 9:8)
You say: "It's not worth it"
God says: It will be worth it (Roman 8:28 )
You say: "I can't forgive myself"
God says: I Forgive you (I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)
You say: "I can't manage"
God says: I will supply all your needs (Philippians 4:19)
You say: "I'm afraid"
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear (II Timothy 1:7)
You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated"
God says: Cast all your cares on ME (I Peter 5:7)
You say: "I'm not smart enough"
God says: I give you wisdom (I Corinthians 1:30)
You say: "I feel all alone"
God says: I will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)

Study hard my friends and persevere....God will not forsake those who has put in effort... :)

JUST DO OUR BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

What Sue Wen Means...

2008-06-06T18:10:00.002+08:00

What Sue Wen Means

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are very charming... dangerously so. You have the potential to break a lot of hearts.You know how what you want, how to get it, and that you will get it.You have the power to rule the world. Let's hope you're a benevolent dictator!

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

Haha...just some random post after so sick of studying....RENAL PHYSIO!!! OMGness....

I need this kinda flattering (Though it's not true...hehe...) at times like this (too much studying...)

Chaozzz....back to mugging full time again... :(

The Story Not Told

2008-05-17T23:07:00.004+08:00

If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink. He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.

If u noticed, this verse was on my daily blessings today....

Hmm...somehow this verse reminds me of Narnia (watched yesterday after cns...)

It reminds me of the conversation between Aslan and Lucy (the cute little girl)...Lucy was the only one who saw Aslan across that gaung (watever it is in English)..And though the rest questioned her, she still stood firm on her believe...she didn't berganjak from her believe and went out in search of Aslan (when there was nil chance for the Narnians to win this battle) in hope that Aslan will save all of them from the terror of Telmarines....

Aslan : Why didn't you come search for me earlier?
Lucy : Coz I was afraind to come alone...

Many a time, we are very fearful to take the first step. Fear of the unknown, fear of the consequences that may befall us if we walk out of our zones of comfort, fear of what the future/the world outside holds for us.

Staying in our comfort zones means that we'll forever be that katak di bawah tempurung. We'll never grow...we're just limited to that perimeter of fence we've laid around us....

Maybe it's time we cut open a hole in the fence and venture out of the plot of space we've limited ourselves into...like how peter, edward, susan and nancy went into the cupboard and then went into a new realm...
Maybe...it's where our true destiny really lies...

And what happens after Lucy seeked for Aslan's help? He was so powerful and mighty that when he sounds his roar...all the natural forces starts coming together and then all the Telmarines were defeated (eventhough they really outnumbered the Narnians X10^10)....

What does this tell us?

If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink. He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.

C.S. Lewis is conveying a message to us...

Btw, didn't realize this till Pui Fun pointed out...and when I reflect back...I found more and more similarities.. :)

Kisah Percintaan Tan Hong Ming

2008-05-12T23:54:00.001+08:00

Read Yee Pei's blog and saw this video....haha...I couldn't resist...so I posted it on my blog too!!!

So cute.....:)

Blessing In Disguise??

2008-05-05T18:04:00.004+08:00

Ah Fun twisted her neck on Saturday while reversing her car...As a result, she cannot serve in holy communion...

Dun worry people, she went to a Chinese sinse and did some phototherapy on her and twisted back her neck back into place....hehe....:)

I just published a post on how sad I was feeling just couple of minutes ago...but now...I feel happier ady....WHY??? Haha...I recover damn fast rite???

Just a couple of minutes ago, Sabrina (junior) came over to pass Pui Fun something....As usual Pui Fun was oinking away, tired after Moti Lai's lecture....So, she asked me to go retrieve the stuff that Sabrina wanted to pass to her..."Obediently", I went to open the door....thinking that maybe Sabrina wanted to pass her some CG stuff....

Guess wat Sabrina brought??? Oranges for Pui Fun and I!!!!!!!! Haha...I know, it's just oranges....why am I so happy over it???

She said, " I brought these for both of you to share....coz I heard Pui Fun is not well...." with lots of giggles in between-so typical of her...

I am touched...Some people will be like, "Come on, it's just oranges...why are you touched for?"

To me, a simple, kind gesture is enough to lift up my spirits, especially during times like this...It really is the thoughts that really matters....

I am touched at how Sabrina was really concerned about Pui Fun's condition and cut oranges (they look cute by the way, dun ask me why) to show her concern for her (she probably had to walk all the way from VISTA C...which is like quite far away...) and probably to lift her spirits up a little...But I think before she lifted up her spirits, she already lifted up mine...and the oranges wasn't even intended for me...haha...:)

I was really happy when she showed up with the cute expressions on her face and brought those cute oranges for Pui Fun..I know it's not much, but it's probably all that she've got...

Haha..what I want to convey here is, simple gestures like asking people how they are and doing those small little favours may at times help lift up spirits of other people though they may seem so trivial...

To a simple girl like me, small, kind deeds can satisfy my dampened spirits already....keke...

Thanks Sabrina for showing up at the right time....and thanx Pui Fun for sleeping so that I could go get the door??? Haha :)

Cherish

2008-05-05T17:40:00.006+08:00

Just came back from Moti Lai's lecture, suddenly I feel so tired and worn out...sigh...and SAD too...

Was kinda happy yesterday...till a realization dawned upon me when she told me that she feels sad when she saw this photo...

I feel sad too...Tambahan lagi, just now had a lecture on coma and brain stem death...walau...:(

It wasn't too long ago when we sat down together, over at my place and had a happy celebration for my 21st birthday...Everyone seem so happy and joyous...

Sigh..A lot of things in our lives are inevitable and unpredictable and when something does happen, everything can change just within a "snap" of your fingers...

I really have to cherish the people around me coz I will never know what may happen...

Will blog about the happy event yesterday once I get back into the mood...chaozzz...

Random Post

2008-04-26T20:13:00.006+08:00

Just came back from church, sermon by Dr. Andrew Goh was good...funny man, and I will remember the "topic" he talked about today....

Malas nak study, I went to google my name...see whether got anything interesting or not...
and then I found this :

Great names have great interests man...haha!!! Not everyone will understand this...only those who knows me very well will understand...kaka...

Now, balik mug books liao...chaozzz...:)

Laminin - How Great Is Our God

2008-04-26T13:49:00.009+08:00

Laminin is the major non-collagenous component of the basal lamina, such as those on which cells of an epithelium sit.[1] Basically, laminin is a protein found in the "extracellular matrix", the sheets of protein that form the substrate of all internal organs also called the "basement membrane". It has four arms that can bind to four other molecules. The three shorter arms are particularly good at binding to other laminin molecules, which is what makes it so great at forming sheets. The long arm is capable of binding to cells, which helps anchor the actual organs to the membrane.

It's actually made up of three separate parts, called the A, B1, and B2 chains. That gives it really a total of six "ends", which accounts for a lot of its flexibility in connecting up various kinds of molecules. Because of this, scientists who create biomaterials are extremely interested in the whole family of laminins. They are a family of glycoproteins that are an integral part of the structural scaffolding in almost every animal tissue. Laminins are secreted and incorporated into cell-associated extracellular matrices.

Laminin is vital to making sure that your overall body structures hold together. If laminin isn't produced correctly, your muscles may form improperly, giving you a form of muscular dystrophy.

Source ~ Wikipedia

GOD is great..The structure that binds all the cells in human body reflects HE the great one. Without this structure, human can never take form. And he chose HIMself to bind cells together. He is integrated in every human body. HE is in ALL of us.

Whether we choose to believe HIM or not, he is always there - the GOD of all creations. And I am glad I chose to believe in HIM. :)

Take a glance at these inspiring videos, hope u gain something from it!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_e4zgJXPpI4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48xf_rh2Qsg

Different Light

2008-04-07T23:40:00.004+08:00

I feel different today. I went to uni and somehow I just feel different. I don't know why.

Today I went to my cousin's service again.It was touching to see how many people he has touched. His friends stood up and gave a couple of speeches today. He has a good bunch of friends. A bunch of friends that really "wei peng you".

Throughout these months since I became Christian, God has never been stingy in giving me His words. I have learnt a lot these few months. Throughout the 21+ years of my life, I believe this period is probably the peak period in my life. I have started a wonderful journey with GOD here in earth, and I hope I will finish it off well later.

A new revelation has dawned upon me. I dunno wat kinda revelation but I feel that something that has been blinding my eye has been unveiled again. I see some things in a different light now. That why I think I felt different today.

My faith in Him has grown another mile. I will continue to thirst knowledge from you. And I know you will quench this thirst or mine.

A tooth for a tooth?

2008-04-07T02:42:00.002+08:00

If we repay evil for good, it's devilish,

If we repay good for good, it's human.

If we repay good for evil, it's DIVINE.

Senior Pastor Daniel Ho - DUMC

A Dedication Post to Andrew

2008-04-07T01:36:00.005+08:00

I feel a bit down now....i feel a bit of an emptiness deep down inside me...somehow i feel a bit lonely at this moment of time...sigh...

My cousin has gone to be with the Lord early this morning. At a tender age of 20, he has barely seen the world and trod on the earth GOD has so wonderfully mapped out, but yet, I believe that it was GOD's call and I am so glad and rejoiced to know that Andrew will be in the arms of the LORD, our saviour. The pastor at the memorial service said, " Sometimes people give out more blessings when they are not around compared to when they are around." I believe so.

This incident has brought so many of his friends closer. Friends from Australia flew back just to see how his condition was. Some of his friends who couldn't make it sent their parents to check out on Andrew. Every time I step into the ICU waiting area, I see throngs of his friends there. My uncle and aunty was shocked that so many people came to visit him. I'm sure that this is by GOD's grace that has brought all of them together to visit him. Even today at the memorial service, a lot of ex-DJians thronged my uncle's residence. A tang of solemnce and grieve hung in the atmosphere, but yet I sense the unity and togetherness in them. As we sang Amazing Grace and How Great Thou Art, I really felt the presence of God in the house. It a moment that GOD and Andrew has granted to us. A moment to feel their presence in our hearts. How beautiful.

I really salute my uncle who has put up a brave face throughout the entire week Andrew has been in ICU and till his memory service. I can see that he was physically drained out (not sleeping for a few days) but yet, when I see him interacting with other people, I can sense the strength in him - a strength that can't be shown on the outside but published through his words and actions. I admire him.

God has really made wonders in the family. There is a loss yet there is a gain. Or rather I would like to say it was all gain but no loss. Andrew has reunited with the LORD, that is a gain. And through this incident, my uncle and Andrew's brother, Adrian has decided to renew their vows to the Lord. They have backslidden, but this incident made them realize that there is really a divine power overlooking all of us and if u choose to believe in HIM, it will really be all gain and no loss. They were staunch belivers of real facts and hard proof. Yet, GOD has once again worked his miracles, he turned them from their wicked ways and align them with HIM. PRAISE THE LORD.

May God continue to shower his blessings on this family.

See through them in this time of difficulty. Bond them together. Bring them closer.

Grant them to strength to overcome this hurdle. GOD will never forsake his child.

Bless them, O GOD, they have realigned with you.

Open their hearts and eyes, show them the light and path you mapped out for them.

I know you have a plan for them.

They are people with great purposes in life. Use them for your purposes.

In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

This incident has made me realize how short and unpredictable life can be. I am glad that I have heard his words, chose to accept it and now practicing it. I know I have Him to turn to , but what about the rest who has yet to receive the good news? What about those who have yet to hear His words? I am deeply saddened. Though I pray for the evangelism of my family, I know it's kinda difficult. But, I'll continue praying. I have witnessed the power of prayer.

From this incident, I have learnt to live life like there's no tomorrow. Cherish everything you have and lead a purposeful life. On our pitstop here on earth, we ought to do everything we can to glorify His name, for without Him there will not be us. To friends,my sister (if she is reading this) and family members who has yet to give a thought about life and afterlife, you ought to think about it now. Life is short and unpredictable. If we do not seize the opportunity that has been made obvious to us, we may not have a second chance.

Fun Fun's 22nd Birthday!!!

2008-03-22T19:10:00.015+08:00

Had been so busy lateley to update my blog...omg!!! This post was long overdue...PF's bday was in Feb and now is already April...hehe...

Anywayz, her bday was during MSK and our schedule was rather hectic at that time., juggling with cg, convo mag and sem 5 isn't easy at all...and due to my time constraint i've decided to stop guitar classes.....boy, I really miss going for guitar classes already...sigh...hope i can continue learning in seremban (but i doubt so...sob sob :( ).

Dinner gang, Li Yann and Valene came over to my place first b4 adjourning to PF's place in Kota Damansara....and guess what? I led the way there, man....Boy, I'm damn good with directions...hehe :)

These are some of the photos taken over at her place...

The pressie we bought for her - a nice jewellery box...

The photo of 5 of us taken together during Literature class, photoshopped by Zi Yun..

The Tofu dinner gang bought for her....

After that we decided to go to IKEA to makan lunch...after lunching at IKEA's famous restaurant, we walked around IKEA and camwhore....

The guys....

Photo "ambil sendiri"

The Giant octopus and tarantula!!!!!!!

Zizi and Mon-Kee with their pets....

Last picture taken - Valene and Kee Ping.....

HAPPY BDAY PUI FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!

Orientation M207

2008-02-23T00:14:00.012+08:00

Was just randomly looking through some pics today...and then I saw this folder for orientation for M207....wah...I miss those days when I was orientation officer for group 5 (Prick 5) with Pui FUn, Chris, Troy (but he got sick after the first day...so sad...) and the M107s....I really miss those days man...super fun...Group 5 rocks!!!

This group is super sporting, super fun and is da bomb!!! Thank you to all Group 5 members who made this orientation a memorable wan for me!!!

After treasure hunt...All drenched coz it was raining so heavily...

Variety night...George..U're the RAIN man!!!

We got First Prize for the Tong Hua music video performance...I must say it was damn nice and touching...along with the melodius singing....so BEAUTIFUL...

After variety night...

GOTHIC appearance by Min, Pui Fun, CHing Li, James and Kajen

GOTHIC night.......where everyone gets to dressed up!!!!

OMG....i miss those moments so much..Can't believe tat time really flies past when u're having fun...

Can't imagine when the time comes to start mugging and studying again...3rd of March Sem 5 starts...sigh...WHY????????

Then after sem 5 I have to part ways with some of my friends d.....so SAD..........:( Can't imagine how it'll be like when it's time to send your friends off to PMS....sigh...But absence makes the heart grow fonder...If u do not experience their absence..u'll never know how much they really mean to u...So, I have to begin cherishing every moment we have left together in SEM 5....(though I dunno if I have the time and energy to savour the moments...coz it'll all be channeled to studying...sigh...)

Anywayz, quote of the day for me : A new day, A new hope. I pray for happiness for myself and those around me. No matter how hard the day has been, how much you've struggled....Look ahead, for the dawn of a new day promises a new beginning, another fresh start...Begin clinging onto this hope, it'll never fail you and you'll realize that whatever you've been through isn't so tough after all...tribulations are designed to make us grow stronger and not wither :)

Thoughts from Ah Wen a.k.a. Sunfower

SHALOM

2008-02-18T01:31:00.006+08:00

Verses on Trials, Tribulations and Sufferings

Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Persevreance must finish its work so that you may be mature, complete, not lacking anything

Jas. 1:2-4

Shalom (peace in Hebrew) : wholeness or well-being around

We have peace of GOD

We have peace with GOD

We need to extend peace of GOD to other people

Thank you God for choosing me, allowing me to open my heart to you and experiencing peace with you and my surroundings. I finally felt at "HOME".

CNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-02-17T23:58:00.023+08:00

Cny this year was nothing much....

Besides shopping with Ah Mine (Su-Min) CNY was actually quite boring...haha...

The Saturday before CNY, we went to Fun's house warming @ Kota Damansara...and made havoc in her room...(nolah...just kidnapped tat cut little purple penguin form her room..hehe)
Her house has CCTV...omg...the lightings in her house has a digital controller (with touch pad wan...) and her house is infested with cats and snails...kaka...so cute :)

P/S : Next time when you visit her house, press the button which says, "PRESS", a surprise awaits you...

Here's wat we did at her bedroom...

Look wat we did to her bed..kakaka..

Su-Min and I..haha...playing on the bed...tsk tsk...:)

Li Yann & I (p/s : Pf, better becareful...if one day that purple penguin gets missing...ngeh ngeh ngeh...)

Min and I again.......with the doggie...

What a weird place to have a group pic...on Pf's bed..muahaha...High school frens..sigh..MISS them...sob sob...

First day of CNY

Li Yann and Min came over to "pai lin"...haha...played mahjong and Min freaking won most of the rounds..omg...This is wat I call beginner's luck...Sigh...

Gong Xi Fa Chai @ me house...

After tat, mahjong...went over to Min's place...got some angpaus for myself and my sister...and off we went to Mrs. Tan's house (her neighbour...whom is a tuition teacher, famous for Modern Maths) to feed her dogs and fishes...And her house got freaking a lot of fishes...got koi pond outsidelah..then got another huge kolam in her house..then got a number of aquariums here and there...wah..........

The dogs...damn rascal man...must've scratched Min damn a lot...jump here jump there...Even she can't control them...dunno wat will happen if I went out to the dog compound..I'll be crushed!!!!!!

The koi pond in Mrs Tan's house (damn...giving tuition is really a big side income...$$$)

February 13 - Outing with Li Yann, Pui Fun and Wen Leong...

HAHA...Couldn't wake up...Woke up only when Li Yann and Wen Leong arrived...had to make them wait while I got ready...paiseh...

Then off we went to visit Pf's new house again....kaka...played bridge and chor tai ti...

Off to 1U after tat...had lunch at Paddington's House of Pancake...yum yum...oh...the pics in Li Yann's new LG touchscreen handphone...will get it from her...Damn Frustrating.....

The first thing I ordered...Forgot the freaking name...After I think 15 minutes of contemplating wat to eat...(The menu is freaking thick...omg)..I was the last person to order some more...Poor Pui Fun, Li Yann and Wen Leong...

Sue Wen : I want (Order #1..forgot the name)...
Waiter : Don't have...sorry...

After another 15 minutes of contemplation....

Sue Wen : I want (Order #2)...
Waiter : Sorry, don't have...(laughs)

I give up man...seriously...only this kinda things happen to me...

After flipping the menu for the umpteenth time...

Waiter : Try this, try this...NICE..........
Sue Wen : OK, OK...this wan...(sighs)

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

However, it was a scrumptious lunch....and scrumptious bill too...:)

Then we went to watch movie...(wait a minute..did we watch before lunch or after lunch...haha..sudah lupa...) Anywayz...went to watch Kungfu Dunk...Wah liao..those basketballers with long hair from University High...damn yeng.... ngeh ngeh ngeh........

Movie was not bad...but a bit exaggerating (a bit like Shaolin Soccer kinda effects)...

Song by Jay Chou..Tofu Tofu, Kungfu,Kungfu...hehehe...

Credits to Jay Chou...At least this time he had some facial expression, rather cute some more....haha...

Then balik and bermahjong again........hehe...at least this Leong didn't freaking win again...but Pf
won with 1 sok as flowers (Cannot blame her 1sok really does look like flowers).....LOL...

February 13 - The night before Su-Min leaves for Aus @ Murni's

After I went back from the 1u, jumped into the bed...slept for like less than 20 mins..then Min called..

Min : Let's go check if the hair salon is open, then go Poh Kong before we go Murni's...

wah...okloh..since it's her last nite here...no matter howl tired I am..must layan her a bit...kaka...

Then we met up with the rest @ Murni's...saw Sharanjeet there too...Wah the last time I saw her was since Secondary School...

Li Yann and l (Savouring the garlic cheese naan after makaning the mi raja...damn nice wei..and then had mango special...)

Me, Poh Yen, Su-Min, Li Yann, Yi Man and Yi Ching aka pigletz....

February 13 (Note that it's the same date as above) - 2nd Supper at DJ mamak

Min say wanna makan this mamak for one last time.......okloh........She misses the teh halia there...

Poh Yen and I comparing the colour of our hands...Her hands damn yellow and orange wei...she claims that it was due to the papayas........

One last pat for Ben...before Min leaves........sigh..........

This year more memorable...spent more time with Min coz she can drive her father's car around...kekeke...and then pergi sana pergi sini....shop damn alot...she bought damn a lot of shoes man...haha...Damn nice.......Sigh....

Absence does make the heart grow fonder..never really cherished the times we had together back when we were in high school...till she left...haha...:( so sad...

Min and I...best friends forever!!!!!!! Odios, MIN!!!

Beautitudes - Beautiful Attitudes

2008-02-03T01:15:00.000+08:00

The Beautitudes

Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 5:3-10

When Pastor Daniel said, "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth." It somehow rang a bell in me. Last week Vera asked what is the verse that God have for your life. I had no clue then. But, I think these two verses somehow stood out to me today.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted

It tells me that it is ok to feel sad, dissapointed, dejected, depressed over certain things. There are ups and downs in life, none of us are exempted from that. And to mourn over our losses, mourn over mistakes, mourn over problems...is something so natural of every human being. However, to mourn and have nowhere or nobody to turn to is such a helpless situation. It'll only drain energy from you and it'll never be replenished. And you will only continue to dwell into the matter deeper and deeper, enstrangled by the grasps of darkness and gloom. Every road you turn to seems to be a dead end. This was what I encountered in the past.

Now, God has taught me that if I mourn and turn to him at the same time, I will always have find comfort, solace, peace and solutions. I just have to open my heart to him when I am in a dire need for answers to the problems I'm facing. I just have to tell Him, " I've done my best, I'll leave the rest to you." And He really did share the burden for me.

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth

I feel that it is vital to be humble and timid in everything I do. I always think that I am never 1st in this world, I am always 2nd no matter how good I am. No matter how well I do, I remind myself that there are so many people out there who is better than I am. But sometimes, it is hard to suppress the feeling that, " Wow, I am on top of the world" when I've accomplished something especially if it is something that is hard to come by.

Personally, I realized that whenever I have the least feeling of pride over my achievements, that is when disaster strikes. The balance beam tips over, overconfidence comes in and things will begin to fall apart.That is why I tend to think that everybody else is a bar/rank above me. I believe that it is better to stay at a level which is further away from the brim of the cup rather than to be at the brim and be at brink of spilling/overflowing.

But I don't really know. Sometimes I feel that I have too low a self-esteem. At least, that's what people tell me. That will not get things done. I really don't know whether I am the former or latter. I hope that in time, I will find out.

Anywayz, I think these are the verses that God wants me to embrace, for now. I hope that I will be able to cling onto it and make the best out of it. The road ahead of me will be tough, rocky and winding, but I believe with the grace of God along with the two verses He spoke to me, I will sail through the hard times, because I believe and I know that He is always holding my hands. If I do not let go, I will be led to the correct path. No matter how difficult the road is, I will reach my destination, if I stay by His side. That is His promise to me. And on my part, I will try my best to fulfill my role, as a child of God.

Step Back And Cherish The People Around You... :)

2008-01-16T01:01:00.000+08:00

Ah Mine is Back!!!! and Yi Man too!!!! and Shih Ying too!!!!

Today, I went to William's with Su-Min and Poh Yen for dinner. OMG!!! Min paksa me to makan indomie tambah telur mata kerbau, roti scramble (got pineapple and sausages inside wan...haha) and garlic cheese naan...omg...oh yeah, not to mention her driving...omg...was screamiiiiiiiing all the way till we got to Williams..haha...

After that, she made me tapau hotdog from a ramli burger stall in DJ and then milicks (milo plus horlicks) from another mamak in DJ...then we went over to her place to watch enchanted...haha..predictable-fantasy-live happily ever after movie but funny...and enjoying...(the subtitles are so horrible!!!) but nevertheless it's kinda fun to watch if u have company...

SO FUN!!! Stayed till bout 12.30am at her place..and then her mom had to fetch me back..so paiseh..haha...so long never hang out together like this already...miss her so much!!! it's only with her i do this sorta crazy stuff...

was reminiscing the times we used to go mamak hopping (hop from one mamak to another), mall hopping (hop from one shopping mall to another)...all the silly things we used to do together..n then those times when i spend the whole day at her place, she used to make ice blended chocolate+milo for me (my favourite drink!!!!) and then made fried drummets for me...so yummy...sigh...miss those days so much...too bad she has to go back soon...and then i can't spend much time with her some more coz i have rotations!!!! wat the crap???

I feel so blessed to have such wonderful friends especially min..we knew each other since standard 1 and had been doing crazy, silly stuff together eversince..haha..feeding ladybugs, ants, picnic in the middle of the school during somebody's bday, having group study, worked together in JUSCO, join choir together, have the same shirts, shopping together for hours and hours, go violin class together (although it's only for a month), me playing with ben and she playing with angel...etc etc...almost 11 years of solid friendship...Where to findlah?? Hahaha...so lucky to find such a wonderful confidant, companion and true friend that you know will always be there for you, no matter what happens.. :)

Btw, I asked her to read my blog..and I thought she was always too busy to read my blog...

But to my surprise, when I went to her house today she said she had something for me...she handed me a small paper bag....I was wondering what was inside...since she already gave me my birthday present few days ago, I didn't expect her to give me another gift...

So I was very curious, unwrapping the paperbag with one hand while holding my milicks with the other hand...and I saw...wah... a lovely necklace.....a cross, studded with shimmering stones...it looked so simple yet beautiful to my eyes...

She did read my blog after all...haha...so happy...not because of the necklace...but the gesture of her giving the cross to me..haha... i feel so touched at that moment, it meant a lot to me...haha..dunno why also...I think I'm being too emo these days...haha...

Suddenly, reality just hit me and I felt that it is important to step back and take a bigger view of my life and start to appreciate those who are around me.

There are a lot of things I took for granted in life...My friends, my family...

When uni starts, all I care about is just study and study...I never really did care to just send an email to my close friends or help around with my family in house..I guess I have been blinded by my studies...All I wanted to do was to move forward and excel in my studies...

Now, I think that sometimes I should hit the brakes for a moment, take in and appreciate the people around me...my family (esp my mom) and my friends...After all, these are the people who will stick to me through thick and thin, not my studies...

I want my love for other people to grow, not just remain stagnant to my studies...

I hope it's not too late now...to slow down a little and just open my eyes to those around me...However, Sem 5 eos will be in May/June...dunno whether I will be too indulged into my studies as soon as Sem 5 starts...sigh...

Anywayz, thanx Min for always being there for me...and I want to thank my mom too...I have been taking her for granted all these years...suddenly she looked so old and fragile to me... She is not too well now but I hope God will look after her, see through all her difficulties and bless her with good health. The least I could do for her is to pray... and keep an eye on her health.. :)

Min and me - best friends forever!!!

Why I look so big next to her??? Must diet d...haha... :)

Leong's 22nd Birthday!!!

2008-01-13T01:08:00.000+08:00

After so many wordy posts about myself, I shall now wirte a post filled with photos!!!!

We had a pleasand dinner at Bora Asmara, Kg. Sungai Penchala. Driving there was a rather arduous task. We left at 5.40pm but we reached there at 7.30 pm!!! OMG!!!

Anywayz, the atmosphere there was superb...very romantic...suitable for lovey dovey couples...hehehe...though the food there was rather heavily priced (the food tasted ok oklah)...the band was breathtaking. They played a chinese rendition of the moon represents my heart followed by a birthday song for leong!!! They also played Kenny G's song (Me likey!!!)The members of the band entertained us by dancing as well!!! hahaha...so fun!!!

The place there was filled with cats (hope Zher Lin and Li Shan is reading this)..so cute and adorable!!!!

Anywayz, we had a great time there!!! Happy 22nd Birthday Leong!!!

Diana & Leong.....

Leong with his birthday cake!!

The band...

My chicken chop...

Kee's fish and chips...

Victor, Beh, Yau and Sree (from left)

Noris berposing...

Lieo Juin berposing...

From left : Naomi, Han Ying, Victor and Yau

Group pic...

From left : Cheng LIng, Victor, Keat Seong and Wen Leong...

MIKE, bunga pun nak makan???

Mike berposing before makaning the flower as seen above...

From left : Zi Yun, me, Diana, Xiao Fen, Cheng Ling;Yau and Jc standing

Kee and Zi Yun..

Omg, so gay!!! Kee, wat u doing to mike???

Zi Yun and I...

From left : Kee Ping, Beh and Mike...

From left : Xiao Fen, Cheng Ling, Jc and Wen Leong

Group Photo...

Okie dokie, time to go...GP posting tmr...still have no idea wat to do during GP posting..Odios!!!

Literature - Making Medicine Humane

2008-01-09T04:13:00.000+08:00

Wow...last week has been a tough, hectic and a testing week....tested my patience, tested my will and most importantly, tested my faith.

Working on a video for literature presentation is certainly a hell lot of a task. Consindering I have nought knowledge about making videos using windows movie maker, I am surprised I can actually come up with these videos (with the help of Thazin and Adilin and the other actors were Xian Yang and Kelvin) :

This is a video about outcasts of the society - ex-convicts and AIDS patients and how people around the world reached out for them.

This is a video with me, Adilin, Kelvin and Xian Yang in it. Xian Yang is the main character. Kelvin and Adilin are the abusive uncle and aunty. This music video is about an outcast (Xian Yang) whom is mute. He is feels that he is always alone in his own world. The bubble around his head signifies that nobody has ever reached out for him and understands his feelings. He removes the bubble when he plays the piano because he believes that he can only express himself through music. The flashback part his about how his uncle and aunty abuses him. There is a few fast forwarded scenes which represents that nobody around him pays attention to what he does and is oblivious to him. After that, there is a scene where he meets someone who is similar to him, acted by me, in the park. The bubble around my head signifies the similarity. However, he broke up with her because he was still haunted by his past. The musical box signifies something illusive, something u can see but not touch. Just like the girl, it was something you can have but not own fully.

The video could've been much better if we had the time to film more stuff....but nevermind, this is the best that we can do.

Behind the scenes - HAHA...damn funny wan....but it's so freaking embarassing to film in the park at 5pm where everyone is looking at you..wearing that bubble some more..haha...and then the fast forward scene...have to stand in the park for 2 minutes while so many people are walking past...thinking back...it's so hilarious!!!

There is 3 other person I owe lots of gratitude to : Pui Fun, Li Shan and Andrew Tan (aka Pui Fun's sifu)

Thank you Li Shan for driving me to Andrew's place to edit the audio clip. Thank you Pui Fun for leading the way and accompanying me. Last but not least, I have to say many thanks to Andrew who did the whole editing of the audio clip for me. It meants a lot to me, seriously. Appreciate your help a lot :)

I did say that this literature presentation tested my faith, didn't I?

I was so stressed up with this video for the past week. Our group didn't have the experties that the other groups have. I for sure haven't made a video before in my entire life. We were at a loss for new ideas, one of my group members was down with food poisoning and we were tested with a thousand and one challenges, omg, there is only so much I can stand. I feel like I was almost falling apart. There were times I felt like crying - worrying whether we could finish our group's presentation, worrying whether what we did was good enough...worries and more worries. Sometimes I ask myself, why am I so stressed up? This is just a freaking literature presentation!!! (Btw, it constitutes 40% of my assessment) But this is who I am. I want to deliver my very best, no matter under what circumstances and how hard it takes.

At that moment, I know that it is not enough only for me to believe in myself. I have to believe in God. I told myself, no matter how hard the road is, I just have to persevere, put in the best I had and lastly leave the rest to God. One important lesson I learnt through this experience is to believe in Him - my Saviour, my God, my Father.

Yesterday was a turmoil for me. After watching the other groups' presentation on the first day of presentation, I felt as if I was shredded into pieces. Our video is due the next day and is only 6 minutes and we haven't even finish editing it. I was drained of ideas and of energy. When the editing was finally finished, the WMM just freaking can't convert it into movie clip. I almost gave up hope. And that freaking audio clip was "tersekat-sekat" halfway. Yesterday in my sleep, I swore that if my video turned out to be fine for the literature presentation, it could only be God's work, his divine intervention.

And guess what? Our video turned out rather nicely, thanks to Adilin who slept at 8am, trying to convert the video parts by parts into movie clips and then combining all the movie clips. Thanks to Andrew who helped me edit the audio clip. Who would think that he would suddenly came to go mamak with Pui Fun and coincidentally went to Adilin's place together with Pui Fun to give me my handphone and then saw that I was struggling to finish editing my video. Thanks to Li Shan who offered to drive me to Andrew's place the next morning to do the audio editing, otherwise I would not have any transport to go there. And thanks to Pui Fun for accompanying me to Andrew's place.

Here are some photos we took during selectives (literature):

My group members, from left : Adilin, Kelvin, Thazin and me standing up

Me brest friends in IMU, from left: Zi Yun, Pui fun, Li Yann, me, and Valene (in green)

Selective : Literature - Making Medicine Humane Batch M1/06

Our celebration in Secret Recipe, Sri Petaling

I testify that this is indeed God's work. I am amazed at how he has helped me in so many ways. He has heard my prayers and definitely answered it. I am so glad that I had made the choice of believing in Him (Refer to my 1st post - I believe) as my saviour and my Lord. I am glad that he reached out for me from the darkness and illuminate my life significantly ever since. I know I can always depend on him in times of tribulation. Pastor Daniel once said that it is through tribulations that faith can stretch and grow. It wasn' significant to me then. Now, it did ring a bell.

And now my heart is crying. Not out of depression or devastation. But out of gratitude. He touched me. I felt it.

Thank you for giving me guidance. Thank you for giving me purpose.Thank you for opening my heart.

Echo

2007-12-28T04:00:00.000+08:00

Is it the end if someone you love leaves you behind?

No more cracking jokes between the both of you, no more telling grandmother stories about how the day has been, no more whining, no more crying on each other's shoulders?

DOES IT END HERE?

What causes an echo?
The persistence of sound after the source has stopped.

When you can hear an echo?
When it's quiet and other sounds are absorbed.

This sounds likes a quiz that a kindergarten teacher would ask his/her students.

Every precious moment you shared with him/her will continue to swirl in your pool of memoir forever, continue to speak to you whenever loneliness embraces you, continue to resurface once in a while when you feel a sudden emptiness grasping your soul. And that precious memory is endowed with the gift of eternity, with everlasting life...it will never perish so long as that memory lives in your mind, your soul...

This is the gift of love.

Loves have no recognition, no biasness whatsoever. Love transcends every barrier that every human bulids around them. So long as this love is shared between two souls, this love will live forever as everlasting memory although the body or form which holds it is non-existent.

Be it the love of a couple, love of a teacher to a student or love of a mother to a child.

It does not matter.

It is if he/she continues to live on even he/she is not physically there that matters.

What causes an echo?

The persistence of sound after the source has stopped.

When you can hear an echo?

When it's quiet and other sounds are absorbed.

"Life is so ordinary in many ways but you can find something important in an ordinary minute."

P/S : For One More Day by Mitch Albom is a good,inspiring book. Get your hands on it!!!

Fear No More

2007-12-25T13:26:00.000+08:00

I do not fear anymore.

I am at peace with myself and surroundings.

Thank you Pui Fun and Li Yann for being with me through thick and thin.
Thank you Chris for fetching me to church today and loaning me your Bible.
Thank you Mrs Agi for praying for me.
Thank you Lord for giving me a chance.

May the everyday starting from now, be different, renewed and more powerful.

I Believe

2007-12-23T02:37:00.000+08:00

This moment has arrived, Finally...I chose to believe.

I am an ordinary girl, living an ordinary life, in an ordinary place.

I asked myself all my life, what is my purpose in life? Why am I alive in this world? What will happen if I die?

These questions clouds my mind whenever I have my mind all to myself. I have been striving to find answers throughout my life and I had always left them unanswered each time these questions crept into my mind, each time wondering, "Will I even find the answers to these questions?" What is wrong with me? Does anyone else wonder the same thing? Can't I just get on with life and not worry bout all these things?

Nonetheless, I still keep asking myself, I believe that someday I will be able to solve the puzzle. And the day came. Because I didn't stop believing.

One night, as usual, my mind was wandering, weaving through the maze of idealism. I asked myself for I think the tri-zillionth time, " Where would I go if I die?" And this time, within a matter of 1/1000000000 seconds, the answer just popped into my mind. Actually, it didn't just pop into my mind. Pop is too inanimate a word. It was rather, a small voice. A small voice that has spoken to my mind, a small voice that cleared all the doubts I had in my mind for years - a small voice that made a HUMONGOUS change in my life. It was a calling, for me, at least.

I began to see things differently. I begin to let go of my past which I had been clinging onto tightly because I was afraid of letting it go, afraid of what will happen if i do not conform anymore... I did not dare to walk out of my comfort zone and did not dare to take this leap of faith. And when I finally chose to put a feet out of the comfy box I am living in, I realize there is a whole new sight, a whole new world yet to be explored.

In time to come, I hope that I will be able to rediscover myself, renew my hope and faith and discover the companion whom I opened my heart to. I hope I will stay by His side through my journey of life, through every step I walk and through every breath I draw.

For I believe, without Him, I will not be here.

Today, 22nd December, is a very significant day. A day that would probably rewrite my life forever. Today is the day I said YES to Pastor Margaret when she asked me the life-turning trivia. And from now on, life will be ordinary no more - it'll be EXTRAORDINARY. And now I know love transcends "ordinary-ness".

Goodness comes when you start believing.

John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life."